Here’s a controversial take: I’m not a big fan of donuts.

Before you fire up your torches and break out your pitchforks, let me explain. If I’m looking to quell a sweet craving, I lean fruity. Yes- that means jelly donuts get a pass here. But most of the time, if I want to satisfy the need for sugar, I’ll grab a handful of jellybeans or scoop up some sorbet instead. That’s just my jam (pun fully intended). I don’t like having to slug through sweet doughy treats and not have the satisfaction of hitting, say, a fruity center. And yes- this applies for cakes as well. I’m not a huge cake fan either.

Now you can fire up the torches and get those pitchforks.

Listen- I want to like donuts. I really do. It doesn’t feel right to be in a morning news position and not have a doughy delight with my first cup of coffee– wait. I don’t drink coffee either. I’m really not doing so well here, am I?

A few months back, I interviewed the owners of an up-and-coming donut shop right in downtown Bellingham. What would an interview at a donut shop be without trying their products? Turns out, there were very good reasons behind those out-the-door lines in the mornings that I’ve visited them since. The menu variety, coupled with the commitment to quality ingredients, gave me a newfound respect for the humble donut. I mean, look at these:

Pictured: a Baked Apple Pie Cinnamon Roll, two (2) Dark Chocolate Caramel Corn Donuts, and a Bourbon-Infused Dark Chocolate Donut.

These delicious treats from JoJoe’s Donuts set a new bar for me. As you’re well aware by now, I grew up on the East Coast. If you’re hankering for that classic cup of Joe/donut combo out East, the only logical place you go is Dunkin’ Donuts. I spent decades believing that Dunkin’ was the gold standard in donuts- even though I had no desire to finish any of their donuts after the first bite. So when the opportunity to do a donut tour through Boston came up in a recent conversation with my best friend, I was expecting a tour of the city’s Dunkin’ locations (there are 69 locations in Boston proper).

A few things to clarify before we get into the fun stuff: I didn’t go to Boston just to sample a bunch of donuts. I was already heading into town for my sister’s graduation, and the tour would be happening the day before. No problem at all. I was down to eat anything after getting off of a red-eye flight from Seattle. If you’re planning on heading to Beantown in the near future and are interested in taking the trek through the city’s donut landmarks, we got our tickets through Airbnb Experiences. I’ll try to keep spoilers to a minimum. There’s also a similar tour available in Seattle.

With that all sorted- it’s time to [taste] the donuts!

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Our tour began bright and early at 9am EST. If you’re doing the math, that’s 6am PST- right when the Morning News starts on KGMI! Perfect timing. Also important to note about the 2.5 hour/roughly 1 mile tour: our donut guides made sure we stayed balanced. They wouldn’t give us too much donut all at once, but they’d ply us with enough donut to make sure we were satisfied before heading to the next location.

The tour started out with these huge honey-glazed donuts from Kane’s (not to be confused with Raising Cane’s, which- in my honest opinion- really needs more locations in the PNW). These suckers were cut up into quarters, for all to enjoy with their complimentary cup of coffee or tea. I loved the texture of these- they were springy, moist, and surprisingly light! My only complaint is that the honey flavor got lost somewhere in the process. They’re marketed as “honey-glazed.” The glaze tasted like… well, glaze.

Overall: 4/5

We took a brief walk over to Boston Harbor to sample another specialty from Kane’s. This one was their blueberry donut. While you can see that they’re the same size as the honey-glazed donuts, these doughy discs weren’t as light and airy as their honey counterparts. These were certainly more dense, and I was a bit disappointed by the lack of actual blueberries in my bite. But the dough had a lovely lavender hue, if that’s any consolation.

Overall: 3/5

Our donut guides then trudged us through the Saturday morning crowds near Faneuil Hall and Quincy Market and led us inside the Boston Public Market for some much needed air-conditioning– I mean, more donuts (it was 85° and the sun was out in full force). We were treated to a Northeast fall staple for our third sample: the humble and iconic apple cider donut. Made with apple cider in the dough and coated in cinnamon sugar, these tiny delights from Red Apple Farm transported me back to picturesque fall frolicks across Upstate NY. Something about the cooling temperatures, the magnificent foliage, and having an apple cider donut in one hand while washing it down with an actual glass of apple cider in the other… there’s really nothing better.

Alas- we were in Boston, in the springtime, and the closest foliage we had was the Greenway. Close enough. This was the perfect size donut for me. I think I can say the same for my best friend, Ivi. Her donut disappeared before I could get my camera out. Please enjoy my artist’s depiction of her apple cider donut.

Overall: 4/5 (+1 for the complementary apple cider, pictured below)

With the chaos of the Boston Public Market surrounding us, I nearly forgot that there was a second donut shop just feet away from Red Apple Farm. I had just wrapped up the last gulps of apple cider when our donut guides let us feast our eyes on these beauts:

Our 4th and 5th donuts were courtesy of Union Square Donuts. Up top, you’ve got a classic chocolate sprinkle, and on the bottom, maple bacon.

Let’s take a quick moment and dial things back to Bellingham for a moment. One of the key components of JoJoe’s Donuts is that all of their donuts are made with a brioche dough- meaning you’re going to get more of a bready donut than a cakey donut. Union Square also does a brioche dough, so my expectations were high for these doughy delights.

My favorite breakfast food is bacon. I love a perfectly crispy, thick cut slice any day of the week. For a long time, I was of the belief that bacon should be enjoyed on its own, without any sort of maple syrup or brown sugar getting in the way. I considered it blasphemous. People thought I was nuts. My taste buds have since matured significantly. This creation made me audibly recant my previous statements on bacon and maple, salty and sweet. Ivi accepted my apologies on the spot. She can confirm- from years of summer camps and sleepovers- that my thoughts on how bacon should be consumed remained unchanged for decades. The only caveat I had was the dough- after eating all the good stuff, I had to power through this bready dough. The topping-to-dough ratio was not in sync for these donuts, unfortunately.

As for the chocolate sprinkle… it was alright, I guess. Definitely not enough chocolate frosting to compound the amount of dough I had to eat. But there was certainly no shortage of sprinkles.

Overall (Maple Bacon): 4.5/5

Overall (Chocolate Sprinkle): 2/5

And for those of you wondering “Dianna, you’re in Boston. Where’s the Boston Cream???”: fear not! Our last stop, in Boston’s historic North End neighborhood, had their own spin on the New England classic. As you can see in the picture above, it’s not the traditional no-hole, oozing-with-cream treat most would expect. You still have a healthy dollop of cream sandwiched between two halves of a standard donut. It’s still dipped in chocolate. And though I had to eat this thing with a fork, it tasted way better than any Boston Cream I’ve ever had from a Dunkin’ Donuts.

Overall: 4/5

Whew. That’s enough donuts for me for the year. I think the best takeaway from this tour- which also included historical stops and fun facts- is that history is best served with a snack. I learned a lot about the city of Boston through this donut tour (no spoilers!), and I got to do it all with Ivi, who I haven’t seen in a year!

Maybe I’ll try to convince her to do a more generic food tour of Bellingham when she comes out West to visit. Where should we go?