WHATCOM COUNTY, WA (MyBellinghamNow.com) – According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men are victims of domestic violence. The statistics aren’t any better for sexual abuse: over half of all women and 1 in 3 men have been sexually assaulted or abused in their lifetime.

Suffice to say, there’s a pretty good chance someone you know is a victim of either type of abuse- possibly both. If not, why don’t I introduce you to one?

My name is Dianna Hawryluk. I’m a domestic violence and sexual assault survivor.

This isn’t the appropriate space to tell my stories. That’s not what this is about. But I can tell you that services similar to Whatcom County’s Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services (DVSAS) are the reason I’m safe and alive today.

DVSAS promised guests an out-of-this-world experience at their annual event, held on April 13th at the Silver Reef Event Center in Ferndale. Proceeds from the event help fund DVSAS’s operations year-round, which includes transitional, legal, educational and other types of assistance to those impacted by partner violence.

“Last year, our prevention team provided prevention education services to over 700 young people- high school students- in Whatcom County,” said DVSAS Development Director Marjie George. “We served over 1200 Whatcom County residents through our program. And over 8000 hours of supportive advocacy services.”

Support for those thousands of people doesn’t come without a price. The Hands for Hope Auction and Gala is DVSAS’s main fundraising event for the year, and volunteers were in full swing trying to get people to donate in various ways.

Here’s one of them:

Pictured: not a volunteer. That’s our very own Adam Smith winning a bottle of wine from the Plinko board. For a $20 donation, he got three chances at winning various prizes.

We both failed miserably at the nearby ring toss. There was a raffle for a grill and another chance game offering a $1000 necklace on the line. Contestants who wanted the necklace all got complementary alien headbands. All the aliens later lined up for their turn at unlocking the necklace free from its cage:

Marjie did promise an out-of-this-world event, after all. The winner was towards the end of the line and is not pictured here. You’re going to have to trust me when I say the necklace looked absolutely fabulous on her.

For the most part, the event was a fun time. The Silver Reef Event Center transformed into a safe space where aliens, earthlings, and other extraterrestrials could intermingle without judgement.

In a way, it was the perfect distraction from the issues that many people in that room had either dealt with in the past or were currently battling.

“We recognize that the subject matter that we’re dealing with can be really heavy,” Marjie told me. “But we also want to be able to make space to have fun while we’re supporting this really intense and heavy subject matter.”

I’ll argue that those distractions are necessary. Thanks to DV trauma, I used to attend events with extreme caution unless I could figure out every possible escape route from the space I was in. It didn’t matter if there was a real threat to my own safety or someone else’s safety. It was a survival mechanism.

Midway through the event, we heard from a survivor. She had been helped by DVSAS and was brave enough to share her experience publicly for the first time. As it is her story to tell, I will not repeat it here. All you need to know is that she was able to escape a horrific situation. For many victims, leaving is the most difficult choice to make.

“Leaving is not a one-time choice. It’s not a single solution,” Marjie said. “You can’t just walk out the door and everything is perfect when you’re in intimate partner violence. You need a lot of supportive services because you really have to start your life all over again.”

The survivor got a standing ovation when she was done. It felt like standing for an honor guard. The audience really wanted to make sure she knew she was not alone. Everyone in every corner of the room- from law enforcement to healthcare professionals, realtors to radio people- sent a powerful message: we had her back. We had every survivor’s back.

Even these guys. Adam, Patrice and I had to hit up the photo booth a few times before heading off into the night. But these are the people I feel safest with. These are folks who understood why we were there and were ready to offer support to anyone without judgement. I’m definitely bringing both of them with me to next year’s event.

As the event wound down and the DJ got people onto the dance floor, a curious thing happened just outside the safe space of the Event Center. Something that reaffirmed every reason that I attended and every reason why DVSAS is still offering a plethora of services.

I was standing in a line elsewhere in the casino and got to chatting with a couple ahead of me. They, too, had just been at the gala. They were both present inside a space where survivors could tell their stories, or at least feel comfortable disclosing that they survived. Both of them began making off-color remarks about how their partner “should be the poster child for DVSAS” while jokingly swatting and making punching gestures at each other’s faces.

“Too soon?” one of them asked me.

“Too soon.” I didn’t hesitate. I think the look on my face scared them off.

The gravity of the event was never lost on me throughout the evening. That interaction may have even fueled the rage-fire burning inside of me to want to do more, act more, educate more. And in due time, I will do just that.

I could’ve further admonished these people for completely missing the message. I also could’ve awkwardly laughed along and ignored the obvious. Acting or staying silent- the difference between the two can save a person’s life. In this interaction, action culled the conversation. Maybe they had a talk about it later. They could’ve brushed it off on the ride home. Or maybe they considered getting help resolving whatever past trauma plagued them. Regardless, I really hope they grow beyond that uncomfortable conversation.

As for our end, my desire to get more involved in survivor advocacy is only growing stronger. Clearly, there’s still a stigma around admitting the need for help or acknowledging that folks have survived horrific situations. There’s a part of me that argues that I don’t need to be vulnerable in order to spread the word. But silence- especially submission into silence- also kept me locked into environments that weren’t safe.

I report a lot on situations involving domestic violence and sexual assault. Some of those court documents are extremely difficult to read through. But at the end of the day, I know that justice for survivors will come with every story I write.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic/sexual violence, call 800-656-HOPE (4673) to reach the National Sexual Assault Hotline.